6 Ways To Get Social and Find Some Good Friends
A friend and I discussed the importance of formulating friendships and having a social life when you're a parent. We both agreed that it's vital to have friends to talk to and share life with regularly. Even if you only have one trustworthy acquaintance to bounce ideas off each other, that's enough. It's refreshing when you talk with another person about tips that work or don't, and if you find someone who's positive and uplifting, that's quite priceless!
Nowadays, texting and social media have become the standard way to get our social needs filled. Many of us have become too busy to get together with a friend, grab a coffee, or have a lunch date, so instead, we turn to our smartphones.
It's understandable, but it won't fulfill the need for socialization for long. Why? Because cyber communication is empty and isolating compared to actual interaction with a person. You won't ever feel fully satisfied if that's your primary form of socialization - because you're human.
I've learned that the warmth of face-to-face interaction can never be replaced by communication via texts and social media because you miss out on a lot of human cues. Also, I've noticed that many misunderstandings are derived from texts and emails as you miss out on tone and meaning when you do not hear or see the person.
For parents especially, having friendships takes you away for a while from your usual daily grind to de-stress. Each day you're multitasking and seeing to everyone's needs. You get into a rut and begin to feel like a hamster on a wheel. That's why everybody needs to do some things for themselves alone - it makes you a better person!
When you set time aside to meet with a good pal or to enjoy some adult company, it feels sort of like a spa day, and I've noticed that my disposition is more cheerful afterward.
From experiencing times where I didn't know a soul due to relocating to a new state, I would feel very isolated. Fortunately, I would rectify this by attending a few nearby social events, visiting our place of worship, volunteering, or setting up play dates with like-minded people. It may seem tiresome to get ready to meet new people, but if you hear those negative thoughts, just squash them and don't think about them too much.
Social interaction is beneficial for both parents and children if you meet the right kind of people. You always learn something from others, no matter who they are or where they're from. Socializing is part of being human, and we go against our nature if we only keep company with ourselves. I know many people who are introverted and find it daunting to socialize - that's why I'm sharing the tips that have helped me to meet new people:
6 Tips To Socialize And Find Friends
1. Always Make Dua
Allah is Great, and He Gives us what we desire (if it is good for us), so first make dua and ask Him to ease your burdens and help you be in the company of good people.
2. Be Smart But Not Cynical
Be open to meeting new friends but be careful of who you befriend. I've made both good friends and toxic friends, and the latter needs to be avoided at all costs. I say with conviction that it is better to be alone than to socialize with toxic people who drain your time and energy.
Yet good friends will motivate and uplift you to be better than yourself. It just means you must analyze before forming a relationship with someone new. Know the signs of toxic people, and it will help you become smart without being cynical about everyone.
3. Find A Group
Find an online Muslim group, Islamic study group, or a few like-minded people sharing similar experiences. Almost every town has a Telegram, WhatsApp, or Facebook group nowadays. Participate in a group that has meetups or playdates and isn't only online. Those will be groups that are unique to your city or surrounding areas.
Most of these groups are selective or request a brief introduction, which gives you some peace of mind. Participating in a group may make you feel uneasy, but after you attend the first meetup, it gets more comfortable, and you'll know if it's right for you.
However, don't judge the group by the first meetup unless something was really off-putting. Go at least twice before you decide, then look for another group to join if it isn't the one. I have met lovely people by joining groups as we relocated to different states. It didn't happen at the first meeting either, but after pushing myself to attend a few times.
4. Attend Community Events
Going to the masjid or attending family events are great ways to meet people too. If you move to a popular area, there is always some event being held throughout the year. Sign up for updates or look at the activities link on the website of a specific place. Different regions have different events, and each one should have something you'll want to attend. Once again, try to visit a few times before making a decision.
5. Take Part In A Gathering or Pick Up A Hobby
Join a local group, a halaqa, or participate in a sport, hobby, or craft class. Even better, volunteer your time during the evening or on weekends when your spouse can stay with the young kids. You can always find something by calling your local masjid, library, or recreation center. Join anything that you would enjoy, and in this way, you might meet some friends who share similar interests with you.
6. Take The Initiative
Start your own group or halaqa if you don't find a group that meets your needs. If you find your group lacking motivation, organize a potluck at a public park, so you're not burdened with any preparations. When you initiate and don't always wait for someone else to begin something, you become more popular.
You shouldn't feel guilty for enjoying some social time now and again. It will make you feel happier as a person, and your refreshing attitude will show your family how good it is for you. It also doesn't need to be a specific amount of time per month. You can decide what you need and how to work it around your schedule. Our responsibilities should not envelop us in such a way that we have no outlet for enjoyment. Balance is the key.
Over time, I have learned that lasting friendships happen when a relationship is give and take - not in the monetary form, but in time and support. People are also attracted to someone who initiates contact, is reliable, open, honest, kind, and dependable. These are traits that you would hope for too, and is the key to better friendships!
Salam, I’m Zakeeya!
I believe that making our homes a safe haven for our families, as well as being a wife and mother, brings us great blessings, contentment, and benefits to society as a whole. Since 2011, I've been dedicated to assisting Muslimas in finding tranquility in their roles, taking better care of themselves, and achieving inner peace. Our journey in this world is not an easy one, but I pray the tools and guidance I offer will help you face life's challenges with more gratitude and mindfulness. Join me as I share wifehood, motherhood, homemaking, and lifestyle solutions that make life more fulfilling for you as a woman! Read more about me here.
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