Transform Frustration into Fulfillment: How Fi'sabilillah Can Change Your Life
“Actions are according to intentions, and everyone will get what was intended.” – Bukhari
There’s a beautiful saying in Islam that has brought me immense comfort and clarity time and time again. It’s wrapped up in one simple yet profound word: fi'sabilillah – for the sake of Allah.
Have you ever found yourself pouring your heart and energy into something, only to feel like no one noticed?
Or perhaps you’ve felt that being a parent can stretch your patience so thin, leaving you wondering if all your giving is worth it when it feels like there’s so little coming back in return.
Let’s be honest: when we do something significant, we all appreciate a pat on the back or a heartfelt “thank you.” It’s human nature. But if you’re constantly waiting for recognition, you’ll often find yourself sorely disappointed—and sometimes downright frustrated!
I’ve been there.
Many times, I felt like my efforts as a wife, mother, sister, friend, and community member went unnoticed. That lack of acknowledgment left me questioning my worth. I began to believe that being kind and giving only opened the door for people to take more than they gave in return. It hurt so much that I even considered holding back just to protect myself.
Then, one day, my husband noticed my struggle and said something that shifted my perspective forever. He said, “When you do anything for others, do it fi'sabilillah—with the sole intention of pleasing Allah, not for the gratitude of others.”
I’d heard those words before, but this time, something clicked. They made sense, but implementing them wasn’t easy. Our nafs (ego) crave recognition and approval. I tried a few times to act with pure intention, but I didn’t stick with it initially.
Here’s what I realized: when I forgot to set my intention for Allah, the lack of appreciation from others would sting all over again. But on the occasions when I remembered to say fi'sabilillah, my heart felt lighter. I found deep contentment in knowing that my efforts were for Allah SWT alone.
Over time, it became second nature.
Now, fi'sabilillah is my guiding intention, and the peace it brings is enough, alhamdulillah. Of course, it’s still lovely to hear words of gratitude, but I no longer depend on them to feel fulfilled. Instead, I’ve learned to give with a pure heart, and that has been life-changing!
Parenthood is perhaps the ultimate test of this mindset
I used to have many days when everything felt too much—my husband running late again, one child needing a diaper change, another calling from the potty, two kids arguing, my phone buzzing with notifications, and the food on the stove threatening to burn. It all seemed so overwhelming, and I’d feel discouraged.
In those moments, I had a choice: I could break down and cry about the unfairness of it all, or I could take a deep breath, deal with each issue one at a time, and remind myself that my reward lies with Allah SWT. Shifting my perspective wasn’t easy. It took practice, patience, and a lot of self-reflection.
Some of the key things that helped me include:
Regular self-care
Carving out alone time to recharge
Developing patience and tolerance
Strengthening my knowledge and faith
Placing complete trust in Allah SWT
The desire to feel appreciated is natural. But when you remind yourself that our Lord’s reward is the ultimate reward, it becomes easier to put things into perspective.
Another powerful way to shift your mindset is by reflecting on those who have less than you—there’s always someone! I know it's easier said than done, but it works, and the Prophet SAW said,
"Look at those below you and do not look at those above you, for this is better." – Muslim
It’s humbling to realize that someone else is enduring struggles far greater than yours. Whether it’s financial hardship, a difficult marriage, parenting challenges, or physical limitations, there are so many ways to count our blessings.
So the next time you’re contemplating an act of kindness—whether it’s helping a needy family, spoiling your spouse, visiting the sick, tending to your child, complimenting someone, or giving gifts—pause and say fi'sabilillah with sincerity.
You’ll feel the difference when your intentions are pure and aligned with Allah’s pleasure in everything you do, and you’ll notice a deep sense of contentment filling your soul.
And really, that’s all the appreciation anyone needs!
I designed this Niyyah Journal to keep track of intentions
The Niyyah (intention in Arabic) Journal is divided into 52 weeks, so you can work on one intention per week to achieve multiple goals by the end of the year.
However, you can use your Niyyah Journal more or less according to your needs. The journal includes bullet-style text boxes to write the date and journal on:
My intention, inshallah
Why do I want to achieve it?
When will I achieve it?
An affirmation of my intention
How will I achieve it?
A dua for my Intention
Did I achieve my intention?
A one-of-a-kind self-reflection journal tailored for the productive Muslim who wants to find time to focus on their goals and become consistent in accomplishing them. Instill journaling as a daily habit to see your intentions bloom into reality!
This journal has been designed in a bullet-style format for simplicity and free-flowing creative and artistic expression. It was tailored for the busy Muslim, Muslimah, woman, revert, convert, teen, and parent in mind who wants to improve overall.
Salam, I’m Zakeeya!
I believe that making our homes a safe haven for our families, as well as being a wife and mother, brings us great blessings, contentment, and benefits to society as a whole. Since 2011, I've been dedicated to assisting Muslimas in finding tranquility in their roles, taking better care of themselves, and achieving inner peace. Our journey in this world is not an easy one, but I pray the tools and guidance I offer will help you face life's challenges with more gratitude and mindfulness. Join me as I share wifehood, motherhood, homemaking, and lifestyle solutions that make life more fulfilling for you as a woman! Read more about me here.
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