We Are All Nurturers (Even When We Don’t Have Kids)
Sister Aishah used to run a website called Grains and Gains, and she was kind enough to share her post with us on the topic of women as nurturers. She discusses how women possess motherly traits whether or not they are parents and how they can support society in other ways.
We Are All Nurturers by Sr. Aishah
Many of us, as Muslim women, hold dear to our hearts the thought of being mothers. We may achieve many great things within our personal and professional lives, however, that inert desire to hold and cherish a child never disappears.
We plan when and how many children we want, their names, their attributes, their features; sometimes even from a very young age, we begin mentally preparing ourselves to become mothers. The thought of having a child in your arms whom you can nurture, protect and guide in life is one that is breathtaking; to pass on knowledge, skills, and habits that become instilled in another human being is incredible.
The wives of Prophet Muhammed (SAW) were given the title “the mothers of the believers”. Amongst them is Aishah (RA), a lady of excellence and eloquence. From a tender young age, she was a beacon of knowledge and went on to be one of the greatest scholars Islam has ever seen.
Her biography is full of examples highlighting her confidence and assertive personality. Like many of the other women from the early Muslim history, she continued to be respected and taken as a role model today.
One thing that we do not find in the life of Aishah (RA) is her becoming a biological mother. Allah did not bestow the blessing of children upon her. Yet, there is a great lesson that we can stipulate from this. To this day, we look to her life for guidance and understanding.
Having narrated over 2,000 hadith, it is through her that we gain knowledge about our beloved Prophet (SAW). We love her like she is our mother. It is described that Aishah (RA) had a very close and loving relationship with her nephew, Abdullah bin Zubair (RA); she treated him like her own son, nurturing and teaching him.
Our situations are all different. Some of us may be mothers, some of us may not have reached that point in our lives, or some of us were never blessed with the opportunity. However, I use the life of Aishah (RA) to stress that, whilst having your own children is a unique concept…
We are all mothers!
Many of us have younger siblings, cousins, nephews, or nieces toward whom we can act with a motherly nature. It does not stop with children. Being loving, caring, and genuinely interested in a person’s wellbeing are attributes of a mother that can impact a person regardless of their age.
Here are 5 Ways To Build Motherly Habits
1. Teach
Aishah (RA) was the greatest teacher and scholar; after the Prophet (SAW) passed away, the companions would come to her regularly to seek the understanding of their faith. Knowledge is something that will act as a sadaqah jarriyah after we return to Allah.
One of the fundamental roles of a mother is to teach; teach her children good manners, an understanding of Islam, and their role in society. Take time out to teach a skill that you have, be it an academic subject or a life skill, like cooking. Pass on the knowledge you have of Islam, however small you think it may be. To actively invest in the development of a person is what mothers do.
2. Listen
I notice that with the children in my life, sometimes they just want someone to listen to them. Whilst to us as adults, their story may seem imaginative, farfetched, or even pointless, to them, it is the most important thing on their mind at that moment in time. Be it happy or sad, be there for someone, to take the burden off their shoulders by showing you are willing to give them a few minutes of your time.
3. Give
Aishah (RA) is well-known to have been a very generous woman. It is reported on one occasion where Abdullah bin Zubair sent 100,000 dirhems to her and she gave it all away to charity. Be generous in your nature; be it through material possessions, or your time.
Giving gifts win hearts, and it shows a person, at any age, that they are loved. Often, even the smallest gift can leave a person smiling for days. Many charities run orphan sponsorship schemes; why not sponsor an orphan by ensuring their basic needs are met by a small monthly donation.
4. Support
Our mothers are the pillars in which hold us up whilst we struggle and strive to achieve our dreams. I often reflect upon the fact, that without my mom constantly being there to support me through my university life, I would not have reached where I am today.
Similarly, we can have this trait towards not only the children in our lives but other family members, friends, and even co-workers. Support a person by motivating them during their struggles; we undoubtedly always remember those who were willing to be there for us in our most difficult times.
5. Laugh
Often, situations cannot be changed quickly. Amidst difficult times, make those around you laugh. Take their mind off their problems, even if it is for a few minutes. Our mothers are always ready to put smiles on our faces while we panic about our studies or problematic friendships. Be that person!
Our mothers are the first to sacrifice their time, efforts and financial means to ensure our lives are happier, safer and fulfilled. Give your time and reap the rewards of being a mother to those around you.
Written by Sr. Aishah and edited by Zakeeya
Salam, I’m Zakeeya!
I believe that making our homes a safe haven for our families, as well as being a wife and mother, brings us great blessings, contentment, and benefits to society as a whole. Since 2011, I've been dedicated to assisting Muslimas in finding tranquility in their roles, taking better care of themselves, and achieving inner peace. Our journey in this world is not an easy one, but I pray the tools and guidance I offer will help you face life's challenges with more gratitude and mindfulness. Join me as I share wifehood, motherhood, homemaking, and lifestyle solutions that make life more fulfilling for you as a woman! Read more about me here.
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