Simple Tips For Struggling Mothers

Motherhood is a blessed and enriching experience, an ibadah (worship) for our souls; it only becomes burdensome when:

We do not accept our motherhood role as honorable and a form of worship.
We try to do too much and not set healthy boundaries for ourselves.
We attempt to please others before pleasing Allah SWT.
We are mismanaged and unorganized in our life and with our responsibilities.
We do not set time aside to strengthen our relationship with our husband.

Motherhood can be simplified a lot more than we think, and we can make our experience less frustrating and more enjoyable. We need to have a gratitude mindset and appreciate being a parent amidst the chaos, confusion, messiness, and craziness.

No matter how many children you have, being a parent is challenging. The number of kids you have may amplify this challenge, but all mothers face issues and hope for favorable outcomes.

So what are the first steps to reach our goals?

1. Have Structure and Organization

The structure is achieved by using schedules for your home and with your children. It will help you to nag less and make your kids more responsible. When you use basic, easy-to-follow guidelines for your household, everyone knows what to expect. The what, why, and where aspects are covered so there is less confusion for everyone. Getting organized by de-cluttering your surroundings and categorizing your belongings will also create an orderly workspace and cause less stressful moments for you as a mother.

2. Take Time for Yourself

Taking time to be an individual and not only a mother gives you the energy to carry on week by week and the freshness to do things well. Remembering who you were before becoming a parent is sometimes lost in the selfless role of motherhood. It helps to have an outlet for your personality to thrive, and this should be considered a necessity and not a luxury.

3. Have a Healthy Relationship With Your Spouse

In today's society, the relationship between a husband and wife is put on the back burner. By failing to strengthen this essential relationship, the family in society cannot thrive. This weakness causes hardship in our other roles, especially as a parent. When spouses feel supported and comforted by their partner, they can fulfill their responsibilities with a happier mindset and raise children with greater resilience.

4. To Understand Your Children

Understanding your children and how they perceive the world at different age levels is crucial to a parent's success when educating them. If we do not know how our children learn, and what they can do, how can we set expectations for them? Sometimes our most immense strain is trying to raise over-achieving kids. When we understand a child's biology and psychology and set the focus on the akhira, we will find more relief.

5. To Keep Things Simple

When times get tough, my favorite mantras are, “Do not sweat the small stuff” and "Keep it simple.” Do not complicate your life by maintaining unnecessary rigor and rules concerning your children and home. Always take the route of simplicity, and you will see how much time it frees up to focus on more important things. We need to lose our high expectations and enjoy our kids because they will leave our homes to start their own one day before we know it.

6. To Have Faith

Finally, having faith in Allah SWT and knowing that He does not give a soul more than they can bear. Also, having the patience and fortitude to realize that all sacrifices, especially in parenthood, are immensely rewarded. Most of us continuously strive to reach our worldly goals and are prepared to endure hardships to achieve them. Parenting is our ticket to Jannah, so imagine how much more we can endure when we set our focus on that goal!

To conclude, I want to mention that, alhumdulillah, being a parent of six kids close in age, having no extended family around to help, relocating multiple times, and pretty much learning from trial and error, I still feel blessed. My mindset stays positive when I remember to trust Allah SWT, accept that my plight is by His Qadr, and know that He is our lifeline, and He never gives us more than we have strength to bear!

Only through our faith and trust in our Lord can we maintain the success of being a devout Muslima, a good wife, a loving mother, and keep up with all the many hats we wear. When we begin to cherish our role as parents, enjoy our family for who they are, and realize that life is shorter than we think, it will remind us to stay the course.

Remember, what you put in is what you get out, and it is well worth it, dear mom!

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Salam, I’m Zakeeya!

I believe that making our homes a safe haven for our families, as well as being a wife and mother, brings us great blessings, contentment, and benefits to society as a whole. Since 2011, I've been dedicated to assisting Muslimas in finding tranquility in their roles, taking better care of themselves, and achieving inner peace. Our journey in this world is not an easy one, but I pray the tools and guidance I offer will help you face life's challenges with more gratitude and mindfulness. Join me as I share wifehood, motherhood, homemaking, and lifestyle solutions that make life more fulfilling for you as a woman! Read more about me here.